selena sprout

Although it is so hard, so lonely, it is the time when I receive the most fruitful moments of working with myself…year by year, give me a bit more encouragement to take one more step, approaching closer to the person I would like to become…. I don’t have a goal to be a perfect “self” to me, but if someone asks me why I have the big motivation to work on myself at the moment. The answer would be being helpful and connecting better (everyday) with myself and with others. 

My year reflection has changed, reviews or goals or to-do lists became something which is “normal”or “a habit”. I have been doing it every year since I graduated from university. I can see how I achieved goals I wanted and how I postponed/ delayed achieving them. Over time, without my intention, at some point of my life, I will own or receive or have a chance to experience them.

I had told my friends that I hate this year 2025; even though it is packed (I have many first-time experiences/ things this year), I wish it would pass sooner. 2025 is so long, too many things happened. 2025 is only one year, but also two years combined in one for me, opening spacious room for growth and experimentation. I see myself in a position of flowing and wondering what is happening at the same time to avoid being dragged. I hold a belief that 2026 will be better (I don’t know why I have that intuitive belief). I spent a few weeks writing my intention and my goals for 2026 and then reviewing my 2025 after that. I allow myself to rest, to relax and to review things carefully and attentively as it is worth doing. I am grateful and appreciate all the moments that have passed by. When I sit down with my notebook, I even forget some key events that happened in 2025 then go back to jot it down. 

If I choose a keyword to describe my 2025, it would be, “openness”. 

“He is able to take in the evidence in a new situation, as it is, rather than distorting it to fit a pattern which he already holds. As you might expect, this increasing ability to open to experience makes him far more realistic in dealing with new people, new situations, new problems.” – Carl Rogers 

Sometimes, I remember the years I worked happily everyday at wecozy. But, another voice in my head says that, I am happy to see myself in an exploration stage now, like a kid. If my life was stable like I had had before, I would never have all the things I am learning and exploring at the moment. I have a pure curiosity state of mind during 2025. It makes me brighter living through many windy and damp days in Ireland. I am delighted the most when I learn something new and share it with my loved ones with sparkling eyes and excited feelings. My andenarine runs through my tiny body and makes me feel so “gooooood”, so “cheerful”, to do, to test, and to learn and have fun. 

I found my laugh in many “cracky” sounds I never heard before, carefree and wild laughs ever, in awe for me and for my loved ones. 

Not only do I live in a new place, in the Western culture, learn many new things everyday (recently, I sample stolen cake with marzipan from Germany, or learn that dear meat called venison, or key festive dates of Western culture such as St. Nicolas Day with gifts placed inside the shoes, learn about the meaning of protea flower,…), adjust my diet to support my body, observe and learn the nuance and subtle in communication between my colleagues, support the creative and community-based organisations with beautiful giving spirit in Ireland,…More and more I learn, I do think, many people feel the same, that how similarities you see here and your own motherland society has in common. I appreciate and am grateful as Ireland reaffirms to me that everyone can find their own space and their own community here. I am proud of living in Ireland. 

This year, I am open to accept myself more than ever, see myself as a man organism fully as much as I can. To observe the pleasant moment rising inside me, beaming big smiles or bursting with big and loud laughs (haha). To accept my unpleasant things, to see it doubtedly, and act to support “me” or drag myself back when I failed to the past or uneven path. I also read more books and blogs than last year. I encountered a lot of good human beings which moved me profoundly through reading their works. They are all strangers with big hearts and generosity. I am once again feeling so grateful, as a human who inherited the gifts from many persons who are still living or passed away. My feelings with all things in my life at the moment, similar to the feeling I have during my Master thesis, such as “I might not be the only person who has that idea”, allows me to dig deeper or broaden my research to find the answer. When I open, truly open, I welcome and see many kind-heart individuals, to share and to connect. Every weekend, I spend time reading newsletters and blogs (I love it, my precious me-time). I see myself reading the blog of The Marginalian by Maria Popova every Saturday; I see myself reading Weekly Non-Violent Communication Reflection and remind my natural compassionate; I see myself checking if Into the Story has a new episode; I read the reflection thoughts from and practicing Yoga from Charlie Follows; I read newsletters and listen to podcasts from Health Coach Nam Phuong; I read blog posts from Khai Don, and grateful as she wrote things vehemently I never think I have enough emotional capability and bravery to write out;…

“Because I read for the same reason I write — to fathom my life and deepen my living — looking back on a year of life has always been looking back on a year of reading.” – The Marginalian by Maria Popova.

This sentence resonates with what I feel, every year 

While reading On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy, I raise a sense of hope. It summarises and stretches things I have been learning and what I will work on in the next coming years, what I know that I will go back and forth, step by step, moving forward eventually. I am in awe of the power of human relationship on human development. I remember nearly 10 years ago, the first time I learned “client-centred therapy” in Social Work class, I did not understand this theory until I read this book. I mention On Becoming a Person here because this book is the most beautiful book that made a profound change in the way I understand the relationship between me and myself/ others. Also, The Myth of Normal emphasises the reality of the external society system which creates and reinforces trauma, which is worth reading. Maybe you might have more empathy for women in your life more than ever when you finish the book (I like the first half of the book more than the rest of it). So far, I could say: I am satisfied with my book’s hunger this year. The joy from reading lasts long and puts a big smile on my face. I feel alive and I have hope. 

I have not read any novels or fiction books for almost two years…but I still read children (picture) books when I have a chance

Home to me, is a sanctuary. Many goals related to my family are achieved within 2025 where I am not at home at all. It is so light and fresh inside me, this goal is not on my shoulder anymore. I do miss home more than I thought, at body cell level. I accept how my past experiences have been lingering on my body, they are all behind the reality where I am living at the moment. I dream about my childhood friends, my classmates, my hometown, villagers and Hanoi…it happens almost every night. My memory, one by one, reemerges as the way (I guess) they say goodbye to me before moving to a place somewhere in my memory. Mourning is fading without any pressure or effort, I allow my body to do its own job. At least, I am content.

A love relationship is something that allows me to see myself more than any human relationship. We can not deny that in a love relationship when we trust, we open and reveal our vulnerability (even in a trembling voice or long text message wet by tears or long silence or a happy face), we see ourselves more than any relationship we have. This year, I never felt that I was loved like I have before, I never feel I also feel I love someone wholeheartedly as well. How I learn and accept that I need to learn to love someone, accept how complex I am, discern my feelings, my needs, so therefore, I change “me” to support and facilitate growth and development of other people. Taking responsibility fully to “show” me and wiping my tears when I fall into behaviours and attitudes which creates sufferings; stand up for my needs and protect myself or be patience to see things. To me, having/ accompanying each other in life is the most beautiful thing. Learning more about human relationships this year gives me Hope. 

“You feel really free to explore all the hidden nooks and frightening crannies of your inner and often buried experience. This freedom is an important condition of the relationship.”

“I have found it highly rewarding when I can accept another person..The more I am open to the realities in me and in the other person, the less do I find myself wishing to rush into “fix things”.” – Carl Rogers 

When I come up with new goals, I tend to put things I know that it is (mostly) on me to accomplish. My attitude to other aspects is like drawing a raffle ticket, it is always something unexpected in a raffle, out of my control. Next year, if I choose a key theme for 2026 that will be Joy. I am confident and excited to jump into new things, to feel, to experience and to laugh loudly. I don’t want to live in a community, I want to live with a community. 

*All pictures in this post are taken by using my first camera. The first time I owned a camera.