I share three things on this post
- Another way to plan your life
- The book I read
- I miss and long my home
“If you want to move three steps forward, you have to go three steps deep first”
podcast
Another way to plan your life
They, scientists, said that our brain will reach the point called marutation around the age of 20-ish. It may be a thing I can use as an excuse to explain all my mistakes and silly things I had and have done so far. To me, I can say that I take my first 29-year to say with confidence to myself that: I am in the maturation phase now. I am no longer the person I was, even just around the past 6 months. I do believe many people feel the same, the moment of the big leap in the way you see yourself and the world.
In the dark winter in Ireland last year, I left home when the dawn had not started yet or at the crack of dawn in the sky and returned to the Irish house I lived in when everything was completely dark. On the early bus, I used to commute to work, I always listened to a few podcast channels. I can’t deny that listening to podcasts literally lightened up my heart, kept that tiny inner light which helped me navigate my new life, no longer as an international student. I feel a strong sense of companionship, going through the liminal phase. Today, this blog is talking about one of the podcasts that helped me a lot to understand myself and reminded me to “stay alive” at every moment.
Like everyone (or not, I don’t know), we are still wondering who we are? What do we want in our life?. We use different strategies to explore it, me too. I have many of them, but the one I used to apply on what I learned from what I listened to on the bus. I listened to a podcast of Health Coach Nam Phuong – The podcast is in Vietnamese language and its content is how Nam Phuong planned for her mental and spiritual development, it left a strong impression on me, called “How I build my next 10-year master plan”. 10 years… woa, it is truly an impressive plan for me. In the next 5 years, I even can see it clearly.
It is very comfortable and relax to follow her podcasts, always…but as a habit, I carefully listened to it over and over…one day, when I sit down to reflect what I learned, the podcast came up in my head, eventually, it dawns on me and I can see how “smart” and “holistic” it is for our wellbeing path. And, why not? Let’s try it and see how things will be revealed.
The picture below illustrates my understanding of what Nam Phuong “plans” her life in the next 10 years. However, I don’t want to use “plan” here, I think that the framework goes above that word. The crucial part of working with yourself intensively is that …facing yourself and asking “what, why, how,…”, which may not only last for 10 years but many things can go along for your whole life path.
If you can listen to that podcast, she shared what she had worked on her emotional aspect, it is truly beautiful thoughts and I think any listener will learn something from it. I will not translate it here, but I will share a “tiny” example of how I apply it.
Emotions
Belief – I believe that emotion is the thing I never let them control myself. Emotions is only the indicator as they let me know my needs
Vision – I manage my emotional state healthy and reduce the negative emotion which impact to my health
Reasons – Emotion is an important partner in my life, however, sometimes, it is not present myself
Actions (Daily/ Moment Action) – Spend every Saturday for free ecstatic dance to release emotion I hold and feel refresh
Family
Belief – I believe that family is my root and it is very important place to me where reminded how I am lucky to be there
Vision – I have a harmony and beautiful relationship with my mom or future my own family
Reasons – I feel sad when my mom is disconnected to me and I want my mum and my family members to feel happy when they are beside me.
Actions (Daily/ Moment Action) – Call my mum every weekend and connect with her life when I am far away
There can be more than one or two sentences here. I have a whole blank page for every question and fill it up over time when I realise what I missed or I learn something new. Sometimes, I tear up a bit when I jot something down which moves me deeply. What makes me feel interesting while working on it is the logic of what I am writing in the notebook. Sometimes I don’t know if the idea is a belief or a vision or a reason, things sometimes overlap each other at some point, and I ask myself is that true?. I do remember the moment when I wrote down that I have a need for someone in my life and why another’s presence is very important to me. I believe that different individuals will draw their own pictures with different colors, filling up those frameworks with different things.
It is not as simple as it looks. If you sit down alone, with a pen and a notebook, asking yourself those questions, you will see how challenging it is and there are unknown things you have…a lot of things you never sit down to think, to observe and to be curious..be naked for things to come to light. There are some aspects we might prioritise over other aspects, we understand them better to fill up quicker with a plethora of ideas; but some aspects are not and even it might not be something important or worth spending time on, so there are just…empty when you think about it, “I don’t know!”. But all of these dots and these lines, connected together, assemble into the large picture of how we are. In fact, working on this framework is both time-intensive and bodymind labour-intensive, but rewarding.
I am a person who has a short memory, so having a notebook/note is always my habit, I can open them later and remind myself what I wrote down. I still have not finished my “master plan” since I listened to that podcast, around 2 years ago. At the moment, while reading “The Myth of Normal”, I am again reminded how important it is to live and show who you truly are, how being a pleaser or acting things or being up to the mark as it normally destroys our soul gradually and leads to a life with trauma and illnesses. Or in other words, I am glad and grateful that I am doing this framework now, honoring my time of working on it.
“One you start to paying attention to your truth, it is very difficult to go back…I don’t know if I like it maybe I want to go back..you cant go back”
Emma Watson
Like Emma in the podcast or many people mentioned in the book, I was unwell for months without knowing what caused me to be sick even though I eat good food and have a decent life, then realise how stressed and tired I am.
Before you enter or commit or understand someone, you know what you believe and expect from them (I love how Eight Dates talk more about it, I love that book a lottt). Before you start to work in any company, it is very important to see how this company’s value aligns with your own values…or any kind of connection which supports you, expands you and stretches you. Before you decide to move to a new place, it is important to understand what you value in a place you call a home or a neighbourhood/ village. We have a choice, I remind myself. This framework to me, is an ongoing project, where later in the future, we will revisit, revise or amend it or to renew it. Having been working on what Nam Phuong generous shared, I feel it is an invitation to everyone if they want to “plan their life” in discipline and mindful way as we are not perfect, but we have ourself here with us which reminded there are one more way and there are better and more beautiful ways to talk, to act and to feel. I don’t need to wait years to reap what I am doing, but can enjoy every moment and enjoy what I do, now.
Then, we will go one by one and fill up the questions. The life aspects I have are Emotion, Love/ Family & Relationships, Career, Finance, Health. She also encourages everyone to go further with this framework and “play” with it, everyone can tailor this framework for themselves. When I work on Emotion, I even think how I can react if someone berates me or someone does hate speech or racist me (I never experienced racist in Ireland), but still have not found any answers for myself as I know it happens to some people. It is hard to pin something down, see it in words as many abstract things which are hard to describe via words, maybe using drawing, pictures, music or any other things can help you to express the best. The notebook is my own dictionary for things in this busy life. I do feel that I have a place to go back and be reminded of the importance of understanding and choosing myself.
I am very grateful as she is so brave and generous to reveal her private note publicly. Like a flow, sharing my own experience here, I hope to continue supporting this framework, and it will go where it is meant to go. I will not say that I always enjoy working with myself, sometimes I see how evasive am I, but I try to encourage myself to keep continuing…
The book I read
Back to the book I have been reading recently, I just focus on The Myth of Normal, I am also busy with learning new things (always) and finding a new accommodation to move in. You may have seen the image of the author – Dr. Gabor Maté – on social media channels. He is still working hard everyday to share his findings, I am very grateful to see his generous actions and witness his journey.
The Myth of Normal
“Why does the flight from vulnerability inhibit maturation? Nothing in Nature “becomes itself” without being vulnerable: the mightiest tree’s growth requires soft and supple shoots, just as the hardest-shelled crustacean must first molt and become soft. The same goes for us: no emotional vulnerability, no growth. Even our “tougher” qualities like resilience, determination, confi-dence, and bravery, if authentic and not mere bluster, have that softer state as a necessary precursor.”
I do believe that you will love more and understand deeper all the women surrounding your life after finishing this book. I was always wondering why my mom and many women carries such many inner sufferings from life but never complain or allow themselves resting. I feel pain a lot when I hear someone is sick. I know, it is a systematic problem, all contribute to every single cancer or unwell cells in their bodies. I thương them a lot. I read a lot of nice books this year, but this book is one I hope everyone may consider reading. I also thương myself as someone who naturally inherits their characteristics unconsciously.
I miss and long my home
A few days ago, I woke up early and decided to calm my mind with Morning Meditation in a new meditation collection (I usually do Evening Meditation, not morning), I use only with Vietnamese language. I just feel my body is connected stronger with Vietnamese language in meditation. During the meditation, I listened to the distant background noise, the crowing roosters and laughter of people in the early morning. I can picture some old ladies greeting and mingling each other in the small alley, the whispery sound of a bustling street in Vietnam. I don’t know if I miss home or not, but the sound leaves my heart a pause. I wish I could cry, I felt sad and self-pity at the same moment. Yes, I do, I miss and miss home. I reminded myself that what I feel in my body cells now, what they wanted to let me know. I thought if I opened my eyes, opened the windows, I would see my green gardens with all the trees, ducks, chickens and my dog, Lyly and my mum who is preparing food for them. I spent a lot of time at home before moving to Ireland, but still feel like it is still too short time…
That is all my thoughts for this blog.
Will be in touch soon.
selena sprout 
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