selena sprout

Dublin is at its green, blooming best at this time in the year. I love seeing foliage in different shades of green in many plants. Sometimes, the sun is blazing then but it suddenly rains a lot with bone-chillingly cold. Anyone living in Ireland knows that the weather here is changing in the blink of an eye. I completely forgot that just a few months ago, everything was cold and dark. Whatever happens, I am truly grateful for my life at the moment. Living in a new country gives me a strong sense of adventure everyday, seeing myself in a whole new context. I have matured, I am wiser and understand myself so much better, everyday, in a new country.

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It has been amusing to write about my career for a while, especially during the time I applied for my first job in Ireland. Yes, I mentioned in the previous blog that I will write about my job hunting, but more than that, I would love to share what I truly learned during this time and now. It will be a long post, but as usual, it is a way I communicate with myself.

There are several things in this post

(1) Random thoughts, as always, this post is hard for me to write, as everything is intertwined with each other, my thoughts are complicated. Skip it if you feel it is a bit long for you.

(2) My first career chapter (very short!). It has been 7 years since I graduated from the undergraduate programme in Social Work, 10 years since I have my first job as an intern.

(3) What next? Exploring what sparks the joy in me? CV or everything is just a thing on the surface, what I need to do is see the things beneath.

(4) A great book I would recommend for you.

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(1)

Sometimes I wonder if my parents had not broken up in the past, I would choose another career path. But, maturity and self-awareness teach me that I am a special girl with many ideas, not like many people. It is my natural trait, not from any circumstances or family situation.

Since I was a little girl, I have always loved sitting at my study desk with the window looking out over the coffee garden, reading books and magazines with limited access in Central Highland, Vietnam. As books were so limited, I remember that I could not count how many times I reread a small book or a magazine. Growing up, my classmates often remind me that: I am a smart and creative girl. They sometimes ask if I have any idea about a project even if I am not involved in it. Learning is something easy for me; to date, I am always among the top students in any class I attend. Like many student generations, we fall into a trap of an education which focuses on achievements rather than equipping us with the things we need for life and allows us to explore who we are. Even though I learn for its own sake rather than focusing on the score, I still ended up participating in many competitions during high school in Vietnam. At this juncture, there was nothing to do rather than studying, to be honest. I left school with many good scores, but I don’t know what I truly love.

I graduated with an undergraduate Social Work degree. I never mention, but as many people know, I advocate and show my interest in climate change and environment conservation as my natural traits. One time, while I was perusing a teenager magazine, I saw a small text box mentioning Social Work which may help me work in NGOs. Then, it does not happen as I saw some drawbacks of NGOs jobs as being intern and volunteer in some well-known NGOs in Hanoi. Then, working many different jobs, in different companies, I can’t remember how many times I was fooling myself with the path I thought was for me. Many people don’t know as I don’t state much about them on my CV, but I have worked as a Manager Assistant in several big or small companies, no place for more than 1 year. But, like that time, I never stop thinking about what is waiting for me. Now, I remind myself once again that patience is an action; the answer will come to the person who asks a good question.

To me, nothing is impossible; we can solve any problem we encounter, and we can find the answers to any questions we wonder. Time is matter; keep your thoughts in an insatiable curiosity.

Then, as many people know, I did, I found my best job, I don’t know if I can find a similar job in the future. Wecozy/ Christians they did, showed what a good company is and what working from your heart and your kindness, what is an ethical company and delivers the best products and services (I wrote an article about wecozy/christinas in Hanoi). I was so happy to work every day, I went to the company to work at full steam even though it was not my shift, but then what? I quit this job, supporting my mom’s health and chasing a scholarship to study abroad. You know why? Not only am I a person who loves learning and exploring new things, but all of the people who have worked with me have encouraged me to study abroad and believe that I can do something better. This sucks in me? Education and self-learning individuals, I see myself standing at a point with a distance from the world sometimes. May I enter and become a part of this system? May I keep my values and stay in a like-minded community?

Moreover, many people know that I truly care and honor Mother Earth. My biggest question recently, and I think it relevant to my young professionals, is that we have a bigger view to see the whole picture and the system we are living in now. How can we balance between the old and the new? the true and fake? the innovation which cost of life to the traditional things? I see myself, living a two-half heart, a half heart for social activities, and a half one for “normal” life, quiet, but consistent, I have been carrying them such a long time. But I believe that the answers (even if this will not be a perfect answer) will come to me one day.

(2)

Finishing my master’s programme at TU Dublin, to be honest, I am not satisfied with what I have achieved, I wish I had chosen another programme. I had thought that I would choose another Master’s course, as the name Hospitality Management does not seem to reflect what I truly learn: management skills in general in this course, not only in the hospitality industry. But this is my choice, I cant take it back. Second to none, I graduated with the highest score in my class, but was not content with what I achieved.  It is not comfortable to admit that even I completed the programme from the Irish government funding, but this transformative situation is critical to help me to see a new beginning in my next career path. It is hard to admit, but I hate school even I was always a top student. Learning Master in Ireland push me to admit that fact, why? Most of the things I had learn during one year in this course come from myself, my job experience in the past and what I learn from self-learning and long hour working with my own mind. I borrowed a lot of books from the library. I love to try and fail and explore new ways to solve a problem. I love discussing with peers and learning from them rather than finding out what is right or wrong. Another reason is, in highschool, I disagreed the way they put students in different class as the way they categorise our intelligence ability and academic performance, I made friends with anyone I like, not only because which class they study, but they are all friendly and smart, I learn so much from them. I study because I love learning, but everyone has their own talent. Back then, my Mom paid a lot of money for my extra classes outside official class in school as “all student do that”, I need to do the same otherwise I will fall behind.

Last week, while I was learning about SQL, curiosity led me to check the LinkedIn of an author in the reference list. He quit his big job/title in Expedia and became a full-time professional photographer. He is not the only person who made a big leap I know, but I still get inspiration. I am glad as I am not stop finding my questions and patience to see what will happen.

This moment brings the truth. From an intern with a lot of mistakes to a manager and then to a scholar with a full Irish scholarship. I reached the first pinnacle in both my private life and my career life. Now is time for rebuilding everything from scratch, in a new country. Coincidentally, “Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World” – a book about uncovering unclear paths, was just released last month, it seems that as the world is changing (again) now, we all have a chance to make our life greater. We are all in this big movement, connected, together.

I make my own decision. I stopped my accommodation and tourism service path I had followed and built after a culmination of years of dedication, and even got a government scholarship to master my skills in this field. This thought came to me after I reviewed my strengths, weaknesses and what truly created my credibility. I believe that it is very important to make a decision, as your brain will take better action. I believe that this will be a vital piece in any path in the future.

(3) What have I learned as a newcomer in Ireland or a new country? What are my inner struggles?

Then I am here, in Ireland – an international context – I ask myself? What is my next career goal? As a fish in a big ocean, not a small pond, and I have been here more than 1 year. My job-seeking journey reveals so many things. Looking at the bigger picture in transition, I realise that I always take longer time to learn how to present myself in a new environment. Not to adapt to a new culture or integrate better, but to be seen and be heard as I am. But what do I want to present to others? I can’t count how many CV/ Resume versions I have been creating. I have different skills, but there is nothing I feel I am an expert in. I am smart and learn things quickly, then what? How do I puzzle over it? As I mentioned, I reviewed my career timeline and jotted down all common things with a simple question. What truly brings me joy in all the jobs I have worked? It is hard to place it, the questions gnawed at me.  But I believe that no question has an answer.  I pluck up the courage to find the answers, I don’t want self-doubt and self-thoughts to waste my time. That question now is my daily question to see what sticks.

Never stop questions until I see the answer. Time is plenty, and I am nimble, but decisions never rush.

The job I am working on now is sometimes tedious and repetitive, but I am truly grateful and appreciate that. Why? Because what I need at the moment is time to think while my bills can be paid. I am not in Vietnam, where I can quit a job and go back home to break without worrying about the rent. In addition, I’ve never been afraid of the aggressive customer/ teammate before, I have experience in crisis cases with different customer segments. But here, in a language not my mother tongue, sometimes, I see myself in a frozen moment when I can not open my mouth as I don’t know how to say or communicate confidently. I realised it when I thought about how I would behave in a similar situation if I were in Vietnam. I accept the fact that my body cells, once again, need time to adapt to a new environment and back to my feet where people see me as a newcomer.

In the past, I knew Christinas and am their fan and love their values for years before I got the job. Sometimes I wonder, which company here do I truly want to work for? External environment plays a key role in job seeking and it is more challenging as I need to do market research at a harder level.

It is not as simple as I write here. Many months passed by, and I was wondering about my question every day. The joy is always here. I love creativity and have great visual thinking skills, I am still learning and reading books. Then, some keywords ring true and click with me: continuous improvement/ change, marketing, business analysis, being helpful, winning a deal/order or receiving a glowing review from a customer, learning/exploring a new thing. I am truly an adrenaline seeker in the workplace. Change is never an obstacle, I embrace change and create the change. These keywords impact profoundly on my mind and my heart.

After these keywords came, I designed myself a calendar to learn and experiment with all these keywords on a deeper level. Thanks to the Irish Government, all the courses below are sponsored and well-structured design.

• Business Analysis 
• Change Management 
• Database 
• Data Analysis (Yup! I am very good at Math in school, working short time in Agoda before moving to Ireland unfold my passion with number)
• Digital Marketing (I love marketing when I work in wecozy as I am genuinely love our service and product, it is really good to see its tactics in a comprehensive way..and to be honest, I just want to have a certificate as I want to give myself a chance as some recruiters told me that they can see I might suitable with marketing job)
• Learning French on Duolingo (After testing some languages, it seems French is the most comprehensive design on Doulingo and worth experience to study)

Now, every day, after working and at weekends, I learn these courses. I consider myself as a part-time student and sink in improving my skills and knowledge.

You can see that I don’t mention about writing CV or speaking in the interview, but to me, these things are on surface, what bring you to a spotlight should come from the self-awareness and self-confidence what you are doing at the moment. Another thing is, everything at first is always uncomfortable before gradually being “tamed”, understanding the nature of change brings me the sense of accepting the fact and process. You will always be nervous the first time you do something, it is normal. Grit and resilience is more important, I never lose my true self. Be humble and be a learner, there are so many things waiting me to explore, to understand and to connect, things will come as they are ready. Job/career plays a part of our life, during this time, I also focus on other aspects of my life here, I would better get things instinctive flow.

(4)

There are a fair few of book I am reading at the moment. One of the books made me once again reaffirm and normalise the thing I strongly believe is Novelist as a Vocation written by Haruki Murakami. I have not read his novel for a while, if I was not wrong, the latest one is Kafka on the Shore, it blew my mind into another world. The book is a collection of his short essays, answering common questions asked by people. It reveals to readers that when Murakami started to write and what happened on the road to becoming a professional writer. I am impressed by how his book achieved a “high-quality” experience to any readers through the non-stop effort of tinkering his works with a high level of meticulousness work and stamina as I totally agree with his assertion:

“We may feel that what we have turned out is excellent, even perfect, but the fact remains this is always room for improvement”

– Novelist as a Vocation – Haruki Murakami

I see myself in his words as he can not put on the words as he believes things have their own flow, but when he tries to write them down, it is truly original things. The beauty behind a masterpiece is a long hour of discipline working and a strong sense of self-awareness and smart strategy (I don’t know which word is better than strategy) as he maintains the balance between physical health and mental health. 

What truly touches my heart is, whatever Murakami has been working on, he stands for his original and what he believes is necessary for his creative and imaginative work. Murakami brought an incredible conversation to me through his words, although it was written more than 10 years ago.

“In my forties I pushed the reset button back to being a newcomer” 

“Without that adventurous spirit, nothing new can ever be born”

– Novelist as a Vocation – Haruki Murakami

as Murakami told story that he left Japan and travelled to EU and US, I see myself, being a newcomer and find my path. 

This book brings me a great sense of being original, thriving and striving for being yourself, not to achieve the things we think that our life situation or our family situation put any barrier or hurdle in our path. While I am happy for those who are trying to be better, study harder, work harder and step in the upper or rich class or become somebody they admire, I don’t see it as original. Murakami or other great creative and artistic individuals create things originally, nobody can copy from them, they carry the greatest beauty of humans – ability of creativity.  

There are many small stories in this book that make me laugh, Murakami was straightforward and eccentric on what he truly thought. I feel a strong sense of encouragement, the book landed on my hand at the time I needed it. I get inspiration for what he shares, and I believe that as being creative individual, anyone can not deny the feelings of loneliness in our journey. Once again, Haruki Murakami brings me a great book beside What I Talk About When I Talk About Running. This is the best book so far I have read this year.

“I am sitting all alone at the bottom of a well”

– Novelist as a Vocation – Haruki Murakami

A well, I remember a well appeared in Kafka on the Shore. I can picture Murakami sitting quietly from outside, but full of vivid stories in his mind. 

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I am curious how you feel when you are reading my words at the moment, but, I am quite excited to admit that I can’t wait to see things I will find out. Haizaa, I know this post is so long, it is hard to break them down but it was time-intensive as I did rewrite, edit and tinker before publishing compared to previous posts. Not a novelist, but like Murakami, I often write all my thoughts out, then let them “settle” by closing the tab before tinkering my words and publishing my post, but I did not edit much as I love my raw thoughts.

Thank you for reading my words. See you in the next post. A song I hear now.